November ... that's a wrap!
?As we draw toward the end of this eventful, fun and exhausting year we also finish up this Zen Curious Lawyer’s quest, but was I able to find my Zen?
I’ll admit that when I started this adventure, I thought it was going to be all about Serene Yoga Retreats, Meditation Sessions, Ice Baths and Sauna Sessions, and basically trying some different things that people say help them relieve stress.
By about September, I realised that would probably not be my jam. I am just going to say it, I appreciate it may be a bit of a controversial opinion, but I found them to be rather boring.
There are elements that I did enjoy:
- I didn’t mind a challenging yoga session, but I preferred the ones that challenged my mental fortitude, Hot Zin for example, where holding the same position for an extended period of time really takes some mental strength (3 minutes in Seiza position required a lot of mind over matter)
- I love Ice Bath but found it more invigorating than stress relieving.
- I still practice Sauna regularly, but more for the gym gossip than for the stress relief.
- I love meditation for focus to help me when drafting, so not much stress relief there either.
This is not to say that these practices are not for others incredibly helpful for reducing stress and finding calm. But for me, I learnt that stress is actually a really great motivator, something I rely on, and most importantly, something I want to rely on.
Is Stress Really the Enemy
Too much stress is definitely not healthy for you and should be avoided. But some stress can be beneficial, it can motivate you, help you stay focused, make you energised and alert in challenging situations. The right amount of stress can enhance your performance and increase your ability to solve problems, fostering resilience and helping us to copy with adversity.
So how do we find a balance?
From my perspective, the biggest problem we have with stress is the culture of productivity, efficiency and doing more. This is particularly true of women; I grew up in a generation of having it all, women having careers, with children, and perfectly clean houses and manicured lawns.
We have been raised to believe that “me time” is a luxury and that we must work, often to exhaustion, to feel worthy of having a break, and the result of this, we now live in a world where “calm” seems to be an elusive state.
My Zen Curious journey has taught me to acknowledge the need for rest, and not just scheduled rest. My Zen Curious journey has taught me to listen to my body. If I get home and want to go to bed at the same time as my kids (they’re still young), then I do. If I feel like staring at the city lights from my balcony for a bit to refresh, it happens. On a hot summer day, after gardening, if I want to bob around in the pool with my eyes closed for 30 minutes, that is exactly what I do.
Does the type of rest matter?
While researching this blog I came across the phrase “Active Rest”, it is the concept of planning in the rest through things like yoga and meditation. I also realised that if I scheduled it active rest, and I needed to find time for something else, the active rest was the first to go from the schedule.
I learnt my greatest Zen came not from “doing” something at all. The rest that I most benefitted from was the one where I listened to my body and did what I felt it needed rather than what I had scheduled.
This in turn taught me how important rest is, not just for the physiological and psychological health, but as the ultimate sign of self-respect, in prioritising what I need, when I need it.
The takeaway
For me, finding my Zen wasn’t about escaping stress, or constantly masking it with activities that promised stress relief. This journey was about finding a rhythm of stress, rest and reset.
The journey has been an acknowledgement that each stage is important and whilst I may not need to dedicate the same time to rest and reset, I should really prioritise them when I need them.
Importantly, rest does not mean giving up – rest is not a state of quitting, it is a state of pause. The quest for Zen is seldom the glamorous path Instagram Influences would have us believe, it is windy, has twists and turns and maybe even goes over old ground a few times, but eventually you can find peace.
The final takeaway…
Sometimes the best thing to do is nothing at all
Whilst this is the last blog in this series the Zen Curious Lawyer will be back in 2025 along with the launch of the new FLENA programs.
